Watch what you say

It's been a hectic week that included unpacking and setting up the household for the summer so far. Miss Trixie had to make her semi-monthly trip out to the Amish store to stock up on things she needed. We also got to visit the new Amish bakery and that's always a treat with their tasty homemade baked goods and other culinary delights.

Not to leave any possible stops out, we also went to all the grocery stores we could find so that Miss Trixie could get the sales items advertised in the local news. These types of activities and stops usually result in Ol’ Dutch sitting patiently in the car waiting for her return and it's not so bad if you have a smartphone to peruse all the news that is news and even some that isn't.

Now it's long been known that Ol’ Dutch will carry on a conversation with Mr. Cooper just like he is a normal human being and I began to notice that someone else was listening in on our conversations. I was in one of my waiting spots this week and casually mentioned to Cooper something along these lines. “Wow, lookie there Cooper at the snow on the mountains.” You know, things you talk to dogs about.

He never responds much but does try and see what I am looking at which is more than I can say for how my ex-wife responded. So, it's appreciated that someone cares. No, he didn't answer back so you don't have to try and get me some psychiatric help, yet. But what did happen is more than a little worrisome indeed.

For instance, I might have said something aloud like “Hey Cooper, there's a puppy over there.” And when I opened Google to search for something important like ‘how is bread made," Google would show me search parameters for puppies.

For it seems that somehow my phone is now listening in on all my conversations and trying to help me out with items related to what I am talking about. Now this may not worry you but you have to wonder just who else is listening and what they may do about what you may say in private.

I have to assume for most of you that your conversations are holy and politically correct, but for some of us a slip of the lip could lead to some real issues. Now some of you may be thinking about some loose talk about politics and our leaders and that may be a concern if they are listening in on private conversations protected by the First Amendment, right?

But there are way more important things being discussed by Ol’ Dutch and others online that we do not want blabbered all over hell's half acre, if you know what I mean.

I mean God help us if somehow important information is being gleaned from our conversations and then being used against us in some form or another. Important stuff talked about in secret with our buddy like honey holes where the elk are hanging out this year. Or fishing hotspots where the trout are biting on every cast.

Can you imagine the ramifications of that kind of spying? I mean honestly, are we now going to be relegated to meeting in clandestine spots in the country away from spying eyes, phones left at home and with questioning glances at every car that passes by?

I suppose it's gotten to be a tad like the old party lines we used to have on our home phones where Mabel and Dortha would listen in on everyone's conversations and develop the gossip for the area from that information gathered.

I did Google about such spying, which probably put me on some kind of list, and found out there is a setting to supposedly keep the phone from listening in but Ol’ Dutch suspects that if you click on that option you are simply added to a more sophisticated listening network.

So, if you are planning some illicit activity or don't want the world to know what you are up to you may want to shut the electronic wizard off before you talk about it.

And if you and your partner plan on getting “busy” remove said phones to the garage unless you want the world to know all about that the next morning. Depending on what is said during those times it just may end up in the church bulletin under prayer requests as you were heard to be calling out to God.  Turn off those phones, please.


Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.