Trout Republic: Take a chill pill

I am sure most of you have heard the phrase “take a chill pill’ at some point in your lives.
And we pretty much know what it means when we are told that: sit down, shut up and relax, which seems easy enough. But it’s like the comedian Ron White says happens when he drinks too much: “ I have the right to remain silent -- but not the ability.”

Now Ol’ Dutch is not sure who first advised “take a chill pill” but it may have been the wisest thing ever dreamed up.  And  considering our path in history as human beings and the anger seen more and more in society, there are a lotta folks who could surely use a double dose of the chill.

The other day Ol’ Dutch was just driving along at the town speed limit of 40 mph  Suddenly a truck roared around me in the no passing zone. Glancing to the left to see what I thought was certainly an officer responding to a call or an ambulance en route to save a soul, I was greeted instead by a large raging mouth and middle finger salute to boot.

I am not sure why driving the speed limit set the person off so much but I prayed for them -- well, prayed that they would get caught by the police and contribute to the local economy. I cannot count the number of times I have pulled over on the shoulder to let these hurried folks by here in my town but it’s a lot.

And it’s not only driving slowly that will get the reactions but passing someone not doing the speed limit will also get you an introduction to the bird.

It was that kind of week for Ol’ Dutch as he saw his share of insanity and it was depressing at the very least to imagine what sets these people off.

Watching TV the other night I did see an ad for a new medication with claims that it heals and cures just about everything. It’s a new nose irrigation system and all the patient has to do is run this medicine up your nose under pressure and all your ills will suddenly disappear.

Ol’ Dutch can remember back in the day when there was still a high dive board at the local pool.

You know, before everything like bike riding, yard lot football, baseball, jungle gyms, tether ball and eating erasers was banned as too dangerous for children.

On a side note, we actually had a classmate that ate all of the big old rubber erasers he could get his hands on. You know, the big green ones the teacher sold for a nickel? I don’t think it ever hurt Sam one bit and in fact, he still had a bounce in his walk at the 30th class reunion.

But back to the high dive. Every summer, day after day we would all gather at the local pool and swim away the hot Kansas days. The city pool had a huge concrete hole filled with water and the main feature was a 12’ high diving board.

We lined up to climb that pipe ladder sometimes falling to the concrete below. No one sued or claimed an injury in those days as children were supposed to know better than to fall or at least take the blame if we did.

But up we would climb and soon off the end of that diving board we would go. And what a joy that was except when you forgot to close your nose and mouth and then you got what is today called a “nasal irrigation.”

None of us seemed to be sick or angry in those days and maybe it was because of the frequent nasal cleansing with the strong chlorinated water from the pool.

So maybe there is something to the new product being offered on TV and a simple nasal flush would solve some of the real anger we see around the country.

But if that doesn’t help, maybe they can pass out a few more chill pills to help alleviate the pain people experience. And maybe even give some to the angry people, too.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected] Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at Trout Republic



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