Trout Republic: Phones and Homophones

This past week was not without its challenges and I guess it's just a continuation to the mass mess we have seen (scene) in 2020 with the Covid-19. 

Miss Trixie has been sorting her Aunt and Uncle's household and farm stuff for (four) about the past two (to, too) months and this past week ended with a huge estate sale (sail). So, Ol’ Dutch got roped into helping with that and all in all, it was a huge success albeit a huge effort. 

This causes what is commonly known as frustration on Ol’ Dutch’s part as he is like most men and does not (knot) want to be (bee) volunteered for (four) any extra work. But as most men know (no,) it seems to be a part of being in a relationship with any woman (vixen) to get roped into helping some poor (pour) helpless soul (sole.)

Ol’ Dutch made (maid) countless trips through (threw) the Dallas traffic back and forth to (too, two) the sale (sail) site (cite) and even suffered a blowout on my trailer one (won) day which is always a treat. 

I thought I had pretty much escaped today from having to make that hell trip but (butt) as soon as I awoke, I discovered that my phone was dead. Now I don't mean (mien) like dead as in no (know) battery life but (butt) the other kind of dead where there (their) is nothing on the screen even when plugged in. 

Knowing that I needed to (two, too) write this column today and I used my phone for (four) Wi-Fi, I scrambled around and left the house at the butt (but) crack of dawn to try and rectify the issue. I also knew (new) that Miss Trixie would soon try to (two, too) contact me with instructions for (four) the day and panic if I did not (knot) answer so (sew) I made (maid) a real (reel) effort to (two, too) get the phone up and running.

This is where the fork in the road (rode) is usually inserted but (butt) instead I think the fork was stuck into my head. For (four) it was at this time that Ol’ Dutch made (maid) an executive decision and decided to go back to the estate sale site (sight) and touch base (bass) with Miss Trixie and then go to (too, two) the Verizon store in the town near that place. 

Of course Miss Trixie was not (knot) there (their) when I arrived and add (ad) another fork in the road and Ol’ Dutch (idiot) decided to drive the additional 20 miles to a cell (sell) phone store. 

At every juncture of this trip I was constantly reaching for (four) my phone as I had no (know) idea where a Verizon store might (mite) be and I needed the GPS to (two, too) find it. Finally Ol’ Dutch found some Wi-Fi at The Walmart and was able to (two, too) log on just enough to tell Miss Trixie what happened. 

Luckily I found a Verizon store by chance and pulling up to (two, too) the front at 8:30 am and found out they do not (knot) open until 11. 

It was at that point that Ol’ Dutch seriously considered seeing a shrink and getting on strong meds.

I still do not (knot) have a phone at the time of this writing but this has sure made me realize just how much we depend on that marvelous device. I use mine for everything from texting, selling online, maps, finding stores, a calculator, to (two, too) play games, keep in touch with my family and friends, banking, email, business, pictures, movies, wasting time and once in a while I even use it to (two, too) make an actual phone call. 

So it appears that this day is pretty well shot to (two, too) hell (marriage)  and back as I will have to drive all over hell’s (marriages) half acre to (two, too) find a corporate store only to (two, too) be (bee) told they cannot help me. 

Such is the case with anything we become too (two, to) dependent upon I guess and it may be time to cut the cords a little bit between that infernal device and my soul (sole.) 

Oh and by (bye) the way (weigh,) a homophone is a word that is spelled different but (butt) sounds the same as another word. I may have one (won) or more mistakes in the above column but (butt) you get my drift. 

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or  hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at TroutRepublic


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