Trout Republic

Save it for the guests

There is not a man alive that having gotten married or cohabitated with a person of the female persuasion hasn’t had the “good towel” experience.
You know the story I am sure. There comes a day when someone decides to visit for a stay over and all of a sudden these fancy, soft, luxurious towels from heaven appear on the racks in the bathroom.
You only make the mistake of using them once, let me tell you that, as those are for “the guests.” This statement from your beloved usually starts what many call a “rhubarb” or “discussion.”
I recall the first time this happened to me and I was trying to find out just why some stranger was going to get to use these downy, thick, soft towels on their guest derriere. And why, the person who paid all the bills – me -- was relegated to a scrap of a towel probably purchased at the thrift store and rough enough to use as sandpaper on any home improvement project. They always smelled of Windex for some reason too.
I think the answer, whatever it was, ended with “that’s just the way it is” and needless to say I didn’t get to use the good towels. Ever.
The same thing happens with food around the house. Just let us get invited to some potluck dinner and food of every description pours forth from our cupboards like water over Niagara Falls.
This is not to say Ol’ Dutch does not get good food, no siree Bob, but suddenly chocolaty deserts appear from nowhere. And the same rule applies here as with towels. Do not eat any as it’s for “the guests.”
Luckily the other ladies always do the same and since I am then considered one of their guests at the potluck Ol’ Dutch actually gets some cake or pie if he can beat all the other men to it.
The other day Trixie was on one of her binge cooking sprees for the neighbors and I was looking over her shoulder for a bite of something to munch on. Spying a raw cabbage I inquired with pleading eyes if I might have a piece of that to snack on.
Trixe obliged by peeling off the wilted outer leafs and handing them to me. You see, the best part is for, yes, you guessed it, “the guests.”
Now it’s apparent for all to see that Ol’ Dutch does not need any more food for maybe the next six months but still, there is a principle involved here.
There is an old saying, don’t bite the hand that feeds you and I would add to that, don’t deny the hand that pays for it.
Since arriving in South Padre Island, we have had to make some adjustments with the towel situation due to the high humidity nicer towels will not dry out between showers.
Ol’ Dutch had a solution to that and I was going to implement the once a week shower rule to solve it but was voted down by Trixie and Cooper. Dang dog is just not loyal. Smart, but not loyal.
So we went to thin towels which means a lot of air drying of body parts but with a nice breeze that usually goes pretty fast. I did notice that Cooper’s towel was soft and nice, however, and I wondered how he pulled that off.
Ol’ Dutch is just waiting now until we can visit someone for a sleepover and get one of their soft luxurious towels to use. However the last time I had the opportunity, Trixie brought along our postage stamp size, thin as a tissue towels to “make it easier for our hostess” and Ol’ Dutch was stuck trying to air dry in the yard. I hope the neighbors didn’t mind too much.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected] Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.