Remember Lot’s Wife

I don’t know about all of you out there amongst the reader land, but it seems that with each passing year things get harder to remember. That is unless you are Miss Trixie whose memory not only exceeds that of an elephant’s but runs a close second to a laptop computer.

Of course, since Ol’ Dutch cannot recall what he had for breakfast every day, she can insert any number of scenarios and answers to fit whatever outcome she desires, and I will be none the wiser. And I guess I have never been the wiser, yet so I am used to that, too.

I often get mixed up on people and names so lately I have been trying to make a more concerted effort to listen and file their names away when I meet them. I do know it's possible to do better as I can recall just exactly which tree, I placed a game camera on in 4.3 million acres of forest. So, it's probably selective memory just as Miss Trixie has suspected since day one.

The other day I had another brain fart moment during a sermon when the preacher said, “Remember Lot’s Wife.” Being a tad hard of hearing I only caught that part of it and sat there in complete and utter confusion trying to recall where we may have met or if she was new in church or something.

I would have asked Miss Trixie who was sitting beside me but have been shushed more times than I can remember in the past for asking a question. So, I just sat there and pondered if I knew Lot’s wife and if she had gray hair or was it dyed three colors of the brown spectrum. I guess I can ask the pastor about her next time I see him.

The sermon Sunday was really good about Jeremiah the prophet and I got to thinking (a dangerous proposition according to Miss Trixie) that not only was there a lot of predicting of future events in the Bible but today the Internet is full of predictions of things to come.

Ol’ Dutch can recall in my childhood being frightened half to death when we were all told in school that the Sun was cooling and would be going out. The way it was presented made us feel like we all needed to shop for winter coats at Sears the very next week. Only when reading between the lines did we finally figure out that it was going to be 980,000 years into the future.

I mean even at Ol’ Dutch’s advanced age, I still will not be around to see that event for sure.

But fear sells and we are constantly being told about cataclysmic events yet to come be it meteors, earthquakes, volcanoes, global warming, and global cooling just to name a few. And once again, the threats of these have been hanging around our necks like a garlic amulet ever since we were kids. And they smell about as bad, too.

So, in recognition of all things predicted and prophesied over the past 5000 years, Ol’ Dutch is going to make a few guesses on his own just to even up the playing field. And if I plan this right and get Miss Trixie on board, we might even parlay some of those predictions into best-selling books and make a little money to boot.

For you, dear read, I suggest grabbing a few 50 lb sacks of beans and rice and hanging on to your hats as it's sure to be a bumpy ride in the next few years. And for more information about the future, please send your checks to Ol’ Dutch for safekeeping as money will not have any value in those times and I am willing to watch over it for you.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found