Presidential candidates staff

Trout Republic

As you know Ol’ Dutch has long been a sportsman of unparalleled abilities. Well that may be a stretch but I do enjoy hunting and fishing.
This love affair has taken me many places across the USA in pursuit of birds and big game and also the finned, bait-gobbling Pisces of the water world.
I recall the many years while a slave to “the man,” I had to wait for summer vacation to fish the beautiful waterways of Colorado. Many a long winter I would dream of the week or two of fly fishing that was scheduled for August.
It did keep me sane -- well as sane as can be expected -- and I waited with baited breath. (I know it’s supposed to be bated breath but I was not using mouthwash at the time and my breath was more “baited” smell I think.)
But anyway, I would wait and wait and finally the day would come when we would load up the kids and head for the Rockies.
I come from a long line of fly fishermen and my grandparents even owned a ranch up on the Gunnison at one time so Colorado is special for me.
However, one thing I began to notice is that as soon as we arrived the rains would set in. No matter the month we chose rains would soon follow and our week was less than spectacular.
Ol’ Dutch suffered through this for dozens of years without any idea why that seemed to occur without fail but finally, it dawned on me that simply taking my fishing rod out of the car would trigger rains of monsoon proportions.
This not only happened on our trips to Colorado but any State we visited would soon be awash in liquid showers from the heavens.
Fast-forward to present day as Miss Trixie and I travel across the USA, we also experience rain wherever we go. We went to California a few years ago when they were experiencing record low lake levels and once we arrived, they got a deluge of rain and a massive winter snow fall to boot.
Fishing on South Padre Island in Texas brought those poor people the wettest winter on record and many a spring break was ruined simply by my being there.
Ol’ Dutch has just recently returned to Texas and the grandkids and yes, it’s been raining here ever since. No rain all summer but now it’s every week and in quantities to be complained about.
My neighbor commented on that fact and asked me to maybe let up a tad but I just make rain I cannot stop it.
Many years ago there were men who traveled the country and were said to make it rain for a fee and people in drought areas often employed them as a last gasp. Of course, the people who could make rain stop have long been killed off by farmers, ski slope owners and boat salesmen.
So Ol’ Dutch, ever the intrepid business savvy guru has begun to think that maybe I can get paid to make it rain in areas that need it.
Lord knows California can use a good soaking at the present time with all the fires and you would think they would maybe all pitch in and buy me a plane ticket West.
All I have to do is take out my fishing pole and the gods of storms and rainfall all gather to ruin that activity so it seems.
Of course, as with all faith based activities, I have to have at least a small group of believers so that any failure can be blamed on their unbelief rather than mine. Same as church.
So if you are needing snow, rain, floods, irrigation or a bath, give Miss Trixie a call and schedule a visit from Ol’ Dutch. We aim to please. Well at least I aim when I shoot.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected] Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.


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