Masks are for the little people

It's been an amazing month as we see people once again jamming together in every kind of venue imaginable — football games to soccer matches to the Met Gala and even the Emmys.

What Ol’ Dutch has noticed is the lack of masks in those places which means either the dreaded COVID has passed, or they have found a way to pack in there like lemmings ready to leap over a cliff.
I have not been able to find any news or information about a possible cure and, in fact, most people now are starting to believe the vaccine may not do that much to prevent it. Thanks for nothing. (Miss Trixie insists that while the vaccine may not prevent you from catching it, there are many studies showing that unvaccinated people die at 11 times the rate of vaccinated people.)

What is going on at football games that allows people to sit 100,000 at a stadium to watch some pigskin pounding participation without fear of illness? Now Ol’ Dutch is always on the lookout for such amazing discoveries but I think I may have come up with the reason people can attend such events but kids in school need a mask and desks 10 feet apart.

First of all, those in attendance at the last Colorado game had on team jerseys to support the men on the field. They wear all that stuff so that the stands look good for the television audience and also because they think it somehow helps “their boys” to win on Saturdays. So there must be something in those team wearings that keep the virus at bay? And why Mr. Faucet could not think of that himself before now is beyond me and cost us a lot of fun and entertainment staying home from last year's games. I am beginning to think he is something of a drip actually.

Another thing that Ol’ Dutch noticed is the elite also seem to have developed some form of magical immunity to the Corona as they show up at their normal back-patting, self-aggrandizing, conceited awards ceremonies sans masks. While in the background we see their lowly servants wrapped up like a bank robber in an old Western movie. Again, it must be something in the fancy-dancy clothes they are wearing that gives them immunity from getting sick.

So Ol’ Dutch got to thinking (a dangerous proposition according to Miss Trixie) that me and Trixie need to design some fashionable clothes with these built-in meds which prevent the spread of COVID.

You know some K-12 stuff so we can get our schools back to normal and maybe some workplace casual so that people can once again get back to the office and have a life outside their basements.

I would think we could find out pretty quickly from the high-end fashion moguls who make the movie stars clothes just what exactly is in their fabric that wards off the fever. Then we can simply couple that with the factories in Taiwan that make all the game gear and produce some clothes with double the immunity of what is being used today in crowded venues.

Just think no more would the common man have to worry about getting sick and dying. He would be free to his unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness once again. Free to fly uninhibited across the friendly skies and free to worship God and prepare for the eternity to come. Which according to the Bible is even longer than 2020. We are talking about a lengthy period here folks.

So get out your checkbooks, double down on your credit cards and find those old Green Stamps to invest in our great venture, as we are soon to appear on the Sharks program and launch into mega wealth, for sure.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is Kevin@T Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at