Hurricanes are Hell

I don't know about you, but I think weather events known as hurricanes have gotten worse throughout my lifetime. And not only that, but there also seems to be more tornados, volcanic eruptions, famines, and diseases than ever, too. And of course, the preachers are sure to point out that the Bible predicts such things which sell books, put money in the offering plate and produce fear in a lot of folks.

Miss Trixie says that we just hear about such events more these days as the 24-hour news channels are faunching at the bit for any tidbit of information to splatter across the news networks and the Internet. They found out with the advent of smartphones that the demand for news far outweighs any actual interesting things that happen. And Ol’ Dutch has to admit that even the most primitive of people’s holding cell phones these days lets us into the lives of people that have no impact on our lives. Through that invention, we learn that some aborigine in New Guinea had a baby pig with two heads or other such useful information.

This past week we witnessed Hurricane Ida come ashore in Louisiana with huge rains, ocean surges and high winds. I do find it funny that after every event like this some lame-brained reporter will ask a lifetime resident Cajun how bad it was only to be informed that “well it flooded me just like the last 22 times.” To which the reporter will add, “there you have it.”

This past week also saw the Weather Channel get caught in some on-air hijinks showing good old Jim Cantore out in full rain gear and a helmet reporting that it was raining and blowing hard. Unbeknown to him two electrical linemen were walking around in the background without any gear oblivious to the fact that Jim was about to get “blown away” according to him.

And that, my friends, shows you just exactly what we are being fed sometimes by the news organizations in their rush to one-up the next network. The last hurricane found a reporter up to her waist in water reporting on the air. Later it was found out that she was standing in a deep ditch beside the road. And they wonder why no one trusts them anymore?

The hurricane did bring to mind Ol’ Dutch’s sojourn into the land of Utah pre-Trixie when I was chasing a buxom blonde from Hurricane Utah. It's pronounced Hurricun over there in the land of Brigham Young but Ol’ Dutch soon found out that he was caught up in a storm of his own with this woman.

Just like the storm that came ashore on the Southern Coast this past week, this young lady blew into my life and the intensity increased faster than a tropical storm forming over the Caribbean. She had definite designs on my peaceful existence and Ol’ Dutch barely escaped with his life on that one. Well, at least I escaped with what was left of my fortune as she was a gold miner from way back. A very experienced gold digger.

The impact of those storms is felt far and wide and this one was no different as it raced up the eastern seaboard and flooded many of the states along the way. People lost their lives and livelihoods plus homes and possessions of a magnitude that is hard to imagine.

One story that hit the news was some famous rich guy from that southern region who was stranded in California at his beach house and could not return to Louisiana. Can you imagine the loss and inconvenience that poor man was going through? I mean honestly. How much discomfort can a fellow stand?

I do think it's probably our fault for demanding 1,000 channels on the television and so we have pretty much made the news organizations go to all ends in trying to fill that many time slots.

Ol’ Dutch does find it useful, though, when there is a rabies outbreak in the house cats in Australia and that news is flashed across my phone at 3 a.m. Such news is vital to me honestly as you never know when I may want to go down under and pet a kangaroo.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV, or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at