Christmas Gift Giving Made Easy


By the time most of you read this, you will be long into the Christmas present buying process and more into the opening phase.

As I am writing this on the 20th of the month, Ol’ Dutch is just starting to think about getting some gifts for his family. And while you might cringe at the idea of such late present chasing by any sane person, this is actually really early for me to start.

It's a wonder any of my kids or grandkids get a present at all with that kind of track record but no one around me has ever suffered on Christmas morning. Somehow it all gets done.

This means Miss Trixie shops and constantly is haranguing me to okay this purchase or that purchase in the cart on Amazon. Which I have to say is much easier than me actually doing any of that myself. And is exactly how I planned it.

However, it does fall to me to try and get my two kids Bubs and Cricket presents and of course their spouses Tinkerbell and Captain need something too, the lousy marrying (and much beloved) freeloaders that they are.

Most dads, if they are smart like me, fall back to the ever needed and desired gifts of money. Even though I have tried to impress upon each child that “the love of money is the root of all evil,” they still have a desire for the filthy lucre of mammon from old dad.

I actually found a gift for number one son Bubs this year and even went and got it by myself. I know, right? They say the Christmas season is one of miracles and Miss Trixie witnessed one herself in that simple act of purchasing power.

And to go along with it I had to make something out of steel and welded away this past week and even painted said finished product which is huge for Ol’ Dutch. I normally leave things to the “antique provincial rust motif” as I feel it brings more value at the next garage sale. Or something like that.

But this year I went all out and did it up right and it looks pretty good for a beginning welder if I must say so myself. And say it I must as no one else is going to say that once they see it.

It's the thought that counts, they say, so I hope there are good thoughts all around that effort as I burned two holes in my shirt and one in my hand plus got bit by four fire ants while welding that masterpiece. It was a fun time.

Just last week we visited the grandkids and their mother, Tinkerbell, had them cleaning up their rooms and toys. As since there was some reluctance on their part to start the process Ol’ Dutch went in to supervise the efforts.

I was not prepared for the sight that met my eyes: plastic horses, little people, farm animals, and corrals. Bits and pieces of every shape and color and size imaginable were scattered out on the floor for sorting and hopefully disposal.

There were little plastic saddles to which there was no horse, horses for which there were no saddles, and enough ears of play corn, carrots, and other plastic feedstock to feed a plethora of fake livestock. And a bushel basket full of parts and pieces that none of us could even identify.

It was right then and there that Ol’ Dutch made up his mind that he would no longer contribute to such madness and buy those kinds of toys. And I righteously laid the law down for Miss Trixie that no matter what those girls want, Grandpa was not buying such nonsensical items.

Of course, Miss Trixie understood my position and reasoning which is why I love her so. Her obedience to my wishes is just one of her saving graces and you all know that Ol’ Dutch rules the roost like a big old bull goose.

This is why there are new plastic horses and riders wrapped prettily under the tree as we speak.

Merry Christmas to all my readers out there. May you find peace in your hearts this season and may God bless you and your family in the year ahead.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com.

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